The Cricket Fox Hub

I am cared for and have to learn that its enough. With it being hubby's first wife's birthday yesterday. Its the yearly reminder I'm the odd man out. Know i will never be truly loved. he says he loves me BUT his heart will always belong to her. The one thing I want will NEVER happen....so, have to learn that being cared for is enough. Knowing that I matter to someone. Its time I give up on romance and the silly idea of what love really is. There is different kinds of love...for family, your kids.....but its the hopeless, cant live without, romantic, sappy love....the one thing I WILL NEVER HAVE. The one thing I want.....its time to let go of that idea. I care for my family,love my daughters, BUT I just cant take another chance on love and romance. It just hurts too much. How do you turn off feeling for someone,they know how you feel but how do you let go? Know that what they bring to the relationship is enough? I want them in my life,they have given me so much. I have found...

What do you do when you feel lost. Abandon in a way. Left on your own to figure it out.I know I'm strong enough to keep things going. do what works for me. Keep it simple but also keep the logical thinking and remember what i have learned so far. I feel i have gained a lot in a short time. wonder if its time to put some of that to use. Stand on my own. I hate these feelings of being so lost, alone....I am cared for i know that....not the problem. I need to trust it. Still remembering to take care of myself in all of it. Make me feel special...that I really am worth it.....I just need to find a way to believe it, trust it...............but how

How to turn a case of frustration into positive energy. Lack of information and many questions needing answers. Where to start? Making a difference, just being heard. I'm a so called interested party BUT my thoughts and feelings don't count. I live with things every day. Apparently the stress and strain of everything doesn't matter. I have to make sure that I am heard. Write a well worded document,making a statement about how things are, what a day is like,how i am feeling. trying to understand WHY I feel the way I do? How to fix the feelings I have? Being angry, frustrated. Trying to make sure I am taking care of myself, getting the love and encouragement I need. How do I do that when there is not any. When something I want I know deep down i will never have. Its just an idea that's getting me through a rough time. So...am I really fooling myself. Tonight I feel so alone...questioning what is really getting me through.I have the love and care of those I consider close...

5 Positive things for today 1)got outside, exercise 2)time alone 3)talked to friends 4)listened to music and looked at pictures to help relax me 5)took a nap **5 Negative things 1)still angry about things I cant control -- still upset about things that are out of my control.need to let go and get on with things 2)Still think with my heart NOT my head -- work on NOT being so emotional about issues. 3)didn't journal -- started doing something that helps and didn't keep it going. making a point to go back to it. 4)didn't work on house, get it cleaned up -- get more disciplined at cleaning up. make a to do list. 5)take a little more time for me -- do some knitting or something that I ENJOY David gave me a positive negative flip -- everything has a positive/negative side....look for the positive no mater how small.

had a great conservation. I'm happy and cared for, i know it and its OK. yea, its an internet relationship but its happy and caring, fun and its important. to both of us. We don't get much time together but we make the most of it. We just enjoy each other. It does get heavy at times, BUT anything happens I know all i have to to is call. Ill get talked through it..the support will be there. Yes i am sex deprived BUT.....im seeing its OK...im sticking to what i want, the decisions i have made. Have gained some self respect....which i needed. Just want to be with him....i don't care if nothing happens....i know he cares for me, just as I do for him and that's enough. I'm OK with that.

its one of those days where its all way too much. Just getting from one hour to the next is the biggest chore. the pain of things is too much and how do you find the courage to let go. Is it being afraid of getting hurt again, no encouragement, feeling like your never going to be good enough. How do u really enjoy the so called me time? So much in my lap to deal with, and still find time for me....to work on me, so i can feel pretty, happy, loved......Why is that one word so hard to cope with? Its is so easy to say it but you really need to mean it at times. Be encouraging, supportive, caring. It could be the one thing that someone needs. Doesn't matter who does it, just to know that someone can see what your doing is a big help and is the right thing...maybe that's it, someone to say "hey,its all good, keep going. Not being afraid because you have been hurt in the past. Do we let ourselves get weighted down over feelings that we just need to leave alone? why do we make ou...

thoughts and feelings all over. feeling insecure, doubts. all things i dont need to worry about. I am loved, cared for by brothers and mates. Im strong and smart. What is it that makes me feel so out of wack? Is it missing something. just that reassuring cuddle or word. just knowing that you are special, cared for, cared about. needed.....even loved. Feeling Loved......why is it so important, the one thing that would give me the biggest boost and i dont have it. I feel so in a rut, so stuck.....the person i want the most. I cant have...probably will never have. Acceptance...yea, it bugs me and i hate whats happened..........i have to get past it for my sake. A lot of people depend on me, how do i take care of myself in the best way possible to be that supportive strong person that everyone needs me to be.BUT i also need to be.

how in the world do u make decisions for the right reasons when u realize you are so degeading yourself worth. When u realize that you are worth so much more. I felt cheap,worthless and was pleasing everyone but me. Not making me happy. I was pleasing my lovers and not me. Doing things i really didnt enjoy to be liked, even loved. How do i stay true to myself and stick to the decisions i have made. No web cams, internet sex,no nothing. Finding that its ok to stand up for what i believe in,be loved the way i want. Make love on my terms and if the guy doesnt like it, he doesnt have enough respect for me. Why has it taken this realization to see how i want to be truly loved.,that i can finally look at someone the right way. Loving romantic,as a human being with feeling and needs just like me.