Why Does it all have to be so hard?

doing my best to keep everything in balance and keep everyone happy -- BUT me. I feel like im treading water and its getting harder all the time. Made the decision where i am but its not really where i want to be. My life mistakes are STILL being thrown back in my face. I cant do the things i want because everyone has THEIR own opinion and i cant prove anyone wrong. Im trying to get things done and work hard and how do you do that with no encouragement or support. Im ALONE. how do you find the inner strength to keep going. there is someone, who cares and is supportive and it means so much. how do i find the right reasons to keep going. it is really all worth it in the end. I know it is but today. i just really wonder. maybe its just feeling sorry for myself, hormones, depression. i dont know. im trying to keep the positive thoughts and special dreams going. just to help though the really long crappy days. kinda have things to look forward to but, everyone keeps reminding me i screwed up. I keep putting everyone else before me, taking care of me. When is it my times, who taking care of me....do i really matter to anyone truly, or just hiding in the corner is the best for everyone one...im out of the way and wont get noticed.

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